Okay, so lets get totally honest here...and let no one have hard feelings.
Is it ok for a parent to have a "favorite" child? In my eyes, no that is not ok...
Is it ok for a parent to have different relationships with their children? Absolutely! How can you not? Every person has a distinct personality to them. The same is with children. I don't interact with everyone in the world the same way, so how could I do the same with my kids?
Does that mean that I love one more than the other? Absolutely not! But each of my children have things to them that make them THEM. I think any parent that says that they treat their children 100% the same is lying to you.
Take for example, my girls. And I can't stress enough...I love my children with all my heart and soul. They are the most important things in my life, and if I needed to put my life on the line to save one of them, I would do it in a heart beat. If you know my husband and I, you know we are very different people. Each of us has a very different personality. The same is true with Sarah and Jasmine.
Sarah takes on more of Todd's personality. She is the most beautiful little girl I have ever met! She is really hyper, active, and a really funny girl. She isn't afraid to make funny faces or act silly, she is super smart, and sensitive. She also likes to push everyone's buttons. She wants to see how far she can go until you snap. And it seems like she gets quite a kick out of it when she does push you over the line. But although she has a spitfire side to her, she really is a caring loving girl. She loves to play mommy and take care of her babies and her little sister. She seems to constantly need gratification when she does something fantastic, and she gets very proud when she gets praised.
Jasmines takes on more of my personality. She is a quiet girl (and yes for you smart asses out there, I am a quiet person myself!) When she gets involved with something, it takes all of her attention. She loves to cuddle and hug and is very loving and understanding if someone is hurting or sad. She has a smile that could light up a room, and I know once she loses her baby chub she will be neck in neck with her sister in the looks department. Jasmine is also the most stubborn person I have ever met in my life! She is a HUGE drama queen too. The littlest thing sets her off on a blood curdling scream. I swear sometimes the neighbors must think I am killing her, when in actuality, I just turned off the TV so she would answer my question. Jasmine, too, is very smart, but she sometimes eludes me. I feel at times her sister outshines her, so the little milestones I made such a big deal about with Sarah, are taken for granted with her.
So, that being said. Two different personalities, two beautiful daughters. Honestly now. I love them to death, but I would rather snuggle and watch TV with Jasmine because she will actually snuggle back. But if I had to chose who I would run an obsticle course with, it will totally be Sarah because I think I would have more fun with her. I would take Sarah to the nail salon with me to get a mani/pedi, but I would rather go to the movies with Jasmine because I know she will sit there and watch it, instead of squirming in her seat and running around the theater.
Does that make me a bad parent? No. I am an honest parent, or should I say, a more realistic one. Sometimes I feel guilty, like I am cheating the kids out of something. I don't know. Its just impossible to be 100% fair! If I show them both the same love, all my heart and soul, is it okay that I treat them as if they were two different friends?
Mommies and Daddies out there...do you find the same thing? Is your relationship with your kids different? Do you feel guilty about it sometimes?
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2 comments:
No, you hit the nail on the head... Even just their (slight) age difference makes them "differently abled" one from the other, so when it's time to play video games, Sarah is your only help- and when you want to sit and read a plushy book to a "baby" Jasmine is perfect for the job. Jazzy can't/won't even help clean up the toys yet, heehehe.
I understand what you're saying here totally. I have two sons with completely different personalities, and thus different relationships with both Jean and me. Mark is much more open and easier to relate to. Andy is much more reserved and requires more effort to really get to know, but at times he becomes totally chatty and just wants to talk about everything! They're both great sons though (I make that statement totally objectively, of course :)), which is all that really matters.
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